Post by Haberino on Dec 28, 2010 14:28:39 GMT -5
1. Phoenix Suns
Obvious choice, and they just got better. With this roster, Mark has the formula for a dominant team down pat. His bigs all rebound and block shots. He has an unstoppable PG. His shooting guard is an elite scorer, and depth pieces like Buike, Sean Williams, and Korolev are a huge insurance policy for almost any injury. The only thing in the Suns' way is a potential bad matchup against a team with a great shooting guard. A common theme to the Suns' losses has been disarming McCants and forcing the bigs to take more shots than is ideal. Fortunately for Mark, the 2 spot is an area of weakness for most teams out West.
2. New Jersey Nets
Another no doubter. Without Carmelo the Nets are just a solid team, but the fact that they can get 40 PPG on 54% shooting from one player, and that they surround him with a cast of very good scorers, rebounders, and passers, makes them hard to beat. I don't like their potential finals matchup with the Suns, because even though Carmelo could expose McCants, the Nets give up a lot of size, shotblocking, and rebounding to Phoenix. The Paul-Williams matchup would be amazing in the boxes, but I'd expect the two to offset each other. From there, I think the Nets' only hope is for Carmelo to dominate. That said, I don't think any team in the East can keep up with New Jersey in a playoff series.
3. Minnesota Timberwolves
The Wolves are ranked higher than their record suggests they should be because I think they're as dangerous as any team not named Phoenix. Minnesota is just perfectly designed for the playoffs. Monta and Roy make the best backcourt in the league and regularly win matchups against top talents. Roy's size at PG makes him a shutdown defender who draws fouls on smaller opponents. And Monta is pretty much a machine. Forces turnovers, gets to the line and shoots 93% from it, and scores, rebounds, and passes pretty much as well as any shooting guard out there. Their bigs are good rebounders and shotblockers who can go up against the Noahs, Horfords, even Dwights and Currys and hold their own. If you're unable to shut down guys like Butler and Bargnani, the Wolves are too much to handle.
4. Memphis Grizzlies
Their field goal percentage is unimpressive. Their turnovers are high. They get fewer than 23 ppg combined from their starting shooting guard and small forward. But I'm guessing nobody wants to play them in the playoffs, and that's all because their starting 4/5 combine for 50+ PPG, 26.7 RPG, 2.9 SPG, and 6.6 BPG. Tony Parker is a very good PG. Their defense is the best in the league. It's a shame for Memphis that Phoenix, NJ, and Minnesota don't ask more of their bigs offensively, because it sort of wastes Dwight and STAT's potential to shutdown teams with better records. Still, if Insane goes after a scoring 2/3, or even tries out Lester Hudson as his starting 2, the Grizz might be able to keep up with anyone.
5. Boston Celtics
Boston's a very nice regular season team, but nothing more. Randolph and Diaw make an excellent duo, but the pieces here don't combine to make enough firepower for a title shot. Looking through Boston's big game matchups, two things become apparent: one is that they lose to top teams (a combined 1-8 against Phoenix, Utah, NJ, Memphis, and OKC, giving up 121 PPG), and the other is that Jose Calderon is going to get rocked by any of the top PGs in a playoff series. The Celtics generally play better D than I'd expect, but with their turnover problems and their three startings with sub-B defense, this team can rack up all the wins it wants in the regular season without being much of a playoff threat.
6. Utah Jazz
If I had LeBron on my 34-13 team, and I owned my next four future firsts, I'd be going hitting up every trade block in sight. The Jazz are a 10 steal, 9 block, 56 rebound team with three 20+ PPG scorers. But something's missing. Maybe they're not getting enough out of LeBron, or maybe they need to improve their depth. Gil's passing isn't doing them any favors, anyway. But the pieces Utah needs to add are out there, and they can put a package together. If Don can add them before the deadline, Utah will be hard to stop. For now, though, the turnovers are a big high, the depth is a bit weak, and LeBron's numbers are a bit low for the Jazz to contend.
7. Denver Nuggets
Another team with explosive potential but missing ingredients. Wesley Johnson is a huge prospect, and Greeme should be dangling him and Murphy's expiring (and possibly futures) to land a huge piece. I think it's a no-brainer because Greeme made his big move and now he has to follow through on it; otherwise, Manu is about to turn 36 and had D potential. I love Denver, and I love Manu in the playoffs, especially with his size as a 1. After all, Curry's turnovers at the 1 are really bad, and he's matches up very well as a 2 against the likes of McCants, Monta, and Andre Iguodala. I think the Nuggets potential to contend is a bit untapped. They need to mess around with the DC and the trade market to try to upgrade the 3 or 4, because they're very close to being great.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder
To borrow from Aleksandr Sinayev, the Thunder's life is a disaster. Jamal Crawford sat down to take a shit one day and when he came up he was like, "Oh, fuck, I think I pulled my back" or some shit. And now he just fucking sucks. Remember when he did 24 ppg and 11 apg? Those were good times. Now he puts up subpar numbers as a PG and is bad as ever at the 2. Fuck me. Sergio turns it over a lot so I'm writing this article. How great is it that I'm wasting my inside duo? 51 ppg, 25.3 rpg, 7 apg, 2.2 spg, 6.4 bpg. Ersan Ilyasova: sit down man. The Thunder suck shit.
9. Detroit Pistons
Puke. Hate this fucking team. I really want Andy to trade me Brandon Jennings but his team keeps winning. They play shit D. They turn it over. They don't rebound or block shots well. 29-18! What the fuck. Their backcourt is ridiculous but I really don't understand how they win. I play them next sim. I bet they beat me. Let's look at Brandon Jennings: 26.4/6.4/10.7. Let's look at what Andy dealt to get him: I don't fucking know. It was either Boynton or Kanter with 2 picks. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Let's play a game: is there anyone who would deal Jennings for Boynton AND Kanter? No. Of course not. And the North got one of them. Not both. And two shit firsts. I believe this is like the time I shit the bed.
10. Miami Heat
Shocking that the Heat are ranked this far down, but Heat Flash is content to sit on his team and his depth chart. The Heat recently reeled of seven straight almost by chance; they'd lost six of seven and HF didn't change the DC. They're 27-22 in a conference loaded with garbage teams when they might have the most well-rounded starting five in the league. Eric Gordon, given his percentages, is way underutilized. Chris Bosh is a career 48.4% FG shooter, and just two years ago did 26 PPG on 52.5% FG. He's at 43% and HF has done just about nothing to try to mend that. The Heat have a roster that begs for experimentation, and one that I feel could potentially dominate. And given the value of the talent assembled, the Heat aren't a long way from making a trade to be a viable contender. They have amazing rebounding, elite shotblocking, two of the best three-point shooters in the league, and tons of versatility. They should be ranked much higher.
11. Nobody
I'm keeping this spot because nobody deserves it. Honestly nobody deserves 12-15 either. I dedicate this spot to the fact that the next best team is 27-22, has a terrible a:to ratio, doesn't block shots, and gives up 112 PPG. I'm not about to rank that team 11th! The Knicks are probably good I guess, but even when I look at their roster with a healthy Wade I can't see it being anything. Skillz, you asked me if I'd deal you Curry or Gasol for Wade and I said no. And then you asked me if I'd deal Curry for Wade and guess what I said? No! Funny how that didn't change. The only reason I'm saying this is because I like Lawson, McGee and Darko, so we should probably talk. The Hornets are 26-28, which is crazy. When was the last time a team had a 50 PPG, 25 RPG starting center and was below .500? Isn't that what Brook does? Is the league full of so many bad teams because there aren't any good GMs and everyone just thinks, "fuck, I couldn't build a team this time, maybe if I tank again it will work out"? Shoutout to Mops. Great team! Hope you make the 8th seed!
12. New York Knicks
Sure, why not. I think it's a lousily designed team. Holy shit my dog is licking his dick and making the loudest noises. Fucking awful. Hey if I record this you think I could make some some cash? I'm low on it. I know what Skillz is going for but Darko has regressed, Wade isn't a 30 PPG type, Cook's PG skills are problematic, and Jeff Green sucks. I think he needs to deal for Eddy Curry. If I played in the East things would be nice. Nobody in the East can guard Curry and Gasol. Everyone in the West can. Hey does everyone remember when Dan became the new JAH?
13. Milwaukee Bucks
Decent team. Lots of good backcourt players. Demar is amazing. I think Broph probably has the right idea in moving Selby for a big, because George is probably a very good starter alongside Derozan, and Selby could probably reel in the kinda big needed for Milwaukee to compete. Keeping Calathes will be huge though. Not sure of his RC/AC situation, but he could become a really awesome PG with some camps. Right now the Bucks weaknesses are obvious and I think I mentioned them in the above paragraph. Perfect time to repeat them. The Bucks don't block shots or defend in general or rebound or shoot that well but they do have Demar which is more than I can say. All I have is a dog who looks his junk audibly. He's a good dude.
14. New Orleans Hornets
The Hornets need to get way more out of Rubio or they're hopeless. Their bigs are nice, but clearly a level below what Memphis and OKC have. And then there's the fact that they start Marcus Williams and Guillermo Diaz. Those guys are atrocious. I'm guessing Aar's going to retool, because even if he takes his firsts and tries to add pieces, he has no youth to entice anyone outside of his core three. Three really nice pieces, but Brook and Rubio are underperforming, and the supporting cast is woeful. Woeful! Truly atrocious. I'm aghast! Putrid. There are probably more words I can use.
15. Portland Trail Blazers
Trail Blazin' like Portland, indeed. Nah this team sucks. One day I was in the car with Dan and Nanz and and Nanz was like, "I signed Mike Bibby to the min I guess. Does anyone want him?" Bam! Dan's starting point guard. And wouldn't you know it, he does 8 assists and 3 turnovers a game. 1.1 steals too. Dan's team is actually alright now that Pau's healthy. Pau was amazing last year. 24/12 on 50% FG. Webster's amazing, too. 30/5/4 with 1.1 turnovers. Damn. Remember when I dealt Martell Webster and Steph Curry for Eddy Curry? Remember when Spence checked both guy's potential and was like, "Oh, let me rip off Habes?" Fucking classic! But seriously I hope Dan enjoys his rebuild because he's a good guy and an even better physician.
Obvious choice, and they just got better. With this roster, Mark has the formula for a dominant team down pat. His bigs all rebound and block shots. He has an unstoppable PG. His shooting guard is an elite scorer, and depth pieces like Buike, Sean Williams, and Korolev are a huge insurance policy for almost any injury. The only thing in the Suns' way is a potential bad matchup against a team with a great shooting guard. A common theme to the Suns' losses has been disarming McCants and forcing the bigs to take more shots than is ideal. Fortunately for Mark, the 2 spot is an area of weakness for most teams out West.
2. New Jersey Nets
Another no doubter. Without Carmelo the Nets are just a solid team, but the fact that they can get 40 PPG on 54% shooting from one player, and that they surround him with a cast of very good scorers, rebounders, and passers, makes them hard to beat. I don't like their potential finals matchup with the Suns, because even though Carmelo could expose McCants, the Nets give up a lot of size, shotblocking, and rebounding to Phoenix. The Paul-Williams matchup would be amazing in the boxes, but I'd expect the two to offset each other. From there, I think the Nets' only hope is for Carmelo to dominate. That said, I don't think any team in the East can keep up with New Jersey in a playoff series.
3. Minnesota Timberwolves
The Wolves are ranked higher than their record suggests they should be because I think they're as dangerous as any team not named Phoenix. Minnesota is just perfectly designed for the playoffs. Monta and Roy make the best backcourt in the league and regularly win matchups against top talents. Roy's size at PG makes him a shutdown defender who draws fouls on smaller opponents. And Monta is pretty much a machine. Forces turnovers, gets to the line and shoots 93% from it, and scores, rebounds, and passes pretty much as well as any shooting guard out there. Their bigs are good rebounders and shotblockers who can go up against the Noahs, Horfords, even Dwights and Currys and hold their own. If you're unable to shut down guys like Butler and Bargnani, the Wolves are too much to handle.
4. Memphis Grizzlies
Their field goal percentage is unimpressive. Their turnovers are high. They get fewer than 23 ppg combined from their starting shooting guard and small forward. But I'm guessing nobody wants to play them in the playoffs, and that's all because their starting 4/5 combine for 50+ PPG, 26.7 RPG, 2.9 SPG, and 6.6 BPG. Tony Parker is a very good PG. Their defense is the best in the league. It's a shame for Memphis that Phoenix, NJ, and Minnesota don't ask more of their bigs offensively, because it sort of wastes Dwight and STAT's potential to shutdown teams with better records. Still, if Insane goes after a scoring 2/3, or even tries out Lester Hudson as his starting 2, the Grizz might be able to keep up with anyone.
5. Boston Celtics
Boston's a very nice regular season team, but nothing more. Randolph and Diaw make an excellent duo, but the pieces here don't combine to make enough firepower for a title shot. Looking through Boston's big game matchups, two things become apparent: one is that they lose to top teams (a combined 1-8 against Phoenix, Utah, NJ, Memphis, and OKC, giving up 121 PPG), and the other is that Jose Calderon is going to get rocked by any of the top PGs in a playoff series. The Celtics generally play better D than I'd expect, but with their turnover problems and their three startings with sub-B defense, this team can rack up all the wins it wants in the regular season without being much of a playoff threat.
6. Utah Jazz
If I had LeBron on my 34-13 team, and I owned my next four future firsts, I'd be going hitting up every trade block in sight. The Jazz are a 10 steal, 9 block, 56 rebound team with three 20+ PPG scorers. But something's missing. Maybe they're not getting enough out of LeBron, or maybe they need to improve their depth. Gil's passing isn't doing them any favors, anyway. But the pieces Utah needs to add are out there, and they can put a package together. If Don can add them before the deadline, Utah will be hard to stop. For now, though, the turnovers are a big high, the depth is a bit weak, and LeBron's numbers are a bit low for the Jazz to contend.
7. Denver Nuggets
Another team with explosive potential but missing ingredients. Wesley Johnson is a huge prospect, and Greeme should be dangling him and Murphy's expiring (and possibly futures) to land a huge piece. I think it's a no-brainer because Greeme made his big move and now he has to follow through on it; otherwise, Manu is about to turn 36 and had D potential. I love Denver, and I love Manu in the playoffs, especially with his size as a 1. After all, Curry's turnovers at the 1 are really bad, and he's matches up very well as a 2 against the likes of McCants, Monta, and Andre Iguodala. I think the Nuggets potential to contend is a bit untapped. They need to mess around with the DC and the trade market to try to upgrade the 3 or 4, because they're very close to being great.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder
To borrow from Aleksandr Sinayev, the Thunder's life is a disaster. Jamal Crawford sat down to take a shit one day and when he came up he was like, "Oh, fuck, I think I pulled my back" or some shit. And now he just fucking sucks. Remember when he did 24 ppg and 11 apg? Those were good times. Now he puts up subpar numbers as a PG and is bad as ever at the 2. Fuck me. Sergio turns it over a lot so I'm writing this article. How great is it that I'm wasting my inside duo? 51 ppg, 25.3 rpg, 7 apg, 2.2 spg, 6.4 bpg. Ersan Ilyasova: sit down man. The Thunder suck shit.
9. Detroit Pistons
Puke. Hate this fucking team. I really want Andy to trade me Brandon Jennings but his team keeps winning. They play shit D. They turn it over. They don't rebound or block shots well. 29-18! What the fuck. Their backcourt is ridiculous but I really don't understand how they win. I play them next sim. I bet they beat me. Let's look at Brandon Jennings: 26.4/6.4/10.7. Let's look at what Andy dealt to get him: I don't fucking know. It was either Boynton or Kanter with 2 picks. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Brandon Jennings is 23. Let's play a game: is there anyone who would deal Jennings for Boynton AND Kanter? No. Of course not. And the North got one of them. Not both. And two shit firsts. I believe this is like the time I shit the bed.
10. Miami Heat
Shocking that the Heat are ranked this far down, but Heat Flash is content to sit on his team and his depth chart. The Heat recently reeled of seven straight almost by chance; they'd lost six of seven and HF didn't change the DC. They're 27-22 in a conference loaded with garbage teams when they might have the most well-rounded starting five in the league. Eric Gordon, given his percentages, is way underutilized. Chris Bosh is a career 48.4% FG shooter, and just two years ago did 26 PPG on 52.5% FG. He's at 43% and HF has done just about nothing to try to mend that. The Heat have a roster that begs for experimentation, and one that I feel could potentially dominate. And given the value of the talent assembled, the Heat aren't a long way from making a trade to be a viable contender. They have amazing rebounding, elite shotblocking, two of the best three-point shooters in the league, and tons of versatility. They should be ranked much higher.
11. Nobody
I'm keeping this spot because nobody deserves it. Honestly nobody deserves 12-15 either. I dedicate this spot to the fact that the next best team is 27-22, has a terrible a:to ratio, doesn't block shots, and gives up 112 PPG. I'm not about to rank that team 11th! The Knicks are probably good I guess, but even when I look at their roster with a healthy Wade I can't see it being anything. Skillz, you asked me if I'd deal you Curry or Gasol for Wade and I said no. And then you asked me if I'd deal Curry for Wade and guess what I said? No! Funny how that didn't change. The only reason I'm saying this is because I like Lawson, McGee and Darko, so we should probably talk. The Hornets are 26-28, which is crazy. When was the last time a team had a 50 PPG, 25 RPG starting center and was below .500? Isn't that what Brook does? Is the league full of so many bad teams because there aren't any good GMs and everyone just thinks, "fuck, I couldn't build a team this time, maybe if I tank again it will work out"? Shoutout to Mops. Great team! Hope you make the 8th seed!
12. New York Knicks
Sure, why not. I think it's a lousily designed team. Holy shit my dog is licking his dick and making the loudest noises. Fucking awful. Hey if I record this you think I could make some some cash? I'm low on it. I know what Skillz is going for but Darko has regressed, Wade isn't a 30 PPG type, Cook's PG skills are problematic, and Jeff Green sucks. I think he needs to deal for Eddy Curry. If I played in the East things would be nice. Nobody in the East can guard Curry and Gasol. Everyone in the West can. Hey does everyone remember when Dan became the new JAH?
13. Milwaukee Bucks
Decent team. Lots of good backcourt players. Demar is amazing. I think Broph probably has the right idea in moving Selby for a big, because George is probably a very good starter alongside Derozan, and Selby could probably reel in the kinda big needed for Milwaukee to compete. Keeping Calathes will be huge though. Not sure of his RC/AC situation, but he could become a really awesome PG with some camps. Right now the Bucks weaknesses are obvious and I think I mentioned them in the above paragraph. Perfect time to repeat them. The Bucks don't block shots or defend in general or rebound or shoot that well but they do have Demar which is more than I can say. All I have is a dog who looks his junk audibly. He's a good dude.
14. New Orleans Hornets
The Hornets need to get way more out of Rubio or they're hopeless. Their bigs are nice, but clearly a level below what Memphis and OKC have. And then there's the fact that they start Marcus Williams and Guillermo Diaz. Those guys are atrocious. I'm guessing Aar's going to retool, because even if he takes his firsts and tries to add pieces, he has no youth to entice anyone outside of his core three. Three really nice pieces, but Brook and Rubio are underperforming, and the supporting cast is woeful. Woeful! Truly atrocious. I'm aghast! Putrid. There are probably more words I can use.
15. Portland Trail Blazers
Trail Blazin' like Portland, indeed. Nah this team sucks. One day I was in the car with Dan and Nanz and and Nanz was like, "I signed Mike Bibby to the min I guess. Does anyone want him?" Bam! Dan's starting point guard. And wouldn't you know it, he does 8 assists and 3 turnovers a game. 1.1 steals too. Dan's team is actually alright now that Pau's healthy. Pau was amazing last year. 24/12 on 50% FG. Webster's amazing, too. 30/5/4 with 1.1 turnovers. Damn. Remember when I dealt Martell Webster and Steph Curry for Eddy Curry? Remember when Spence checked both guy's potential and was like, "Oh, let me rip off Habes?" Fucking classic! But seriously I hope Dan enjoys his rebuild because he's a good guy and an even better physician.